How to Respond to a Mocker: 9 Biblical Principles
In 4 Chamber of the Mocker’s Heart, we saw how the Bible identifies habituated patterns in how mockers relate to others, to themselves, to the wise, and to God. Many readers expressed how they resonated with this post because of their experience with a mocker. Several asked the pertinent question,
“How do you deal with a mocker biblically?”
Today’s follow-up post addresses this important question:
“Biblically, how do we respond to a mocker?”
Response #1: Carefully Assess If There Is Truly a Consistent Pattern of Mocking
Biblically, the mocker is the hardened fool. We do not want to flippantly identify anyone as a mocker.
It is one thing to identify the biblical pattern of mockery. It is another thing to identify a specific person as a mocker. This is why my post did not call out any specific person for the sin of mockery.
It is wise to seek the wisdom and counsel of others—there is wisdom and safety in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14). Do other wise, mature Christians who know this person sense a pattern of addictive arrogant, aggressive, antagonistic, abusive anger? Notice the word “pattern.” When speaking of the mocker, the Bible is not talking about an incident of sinful hostile mockery; it is highlighting a habituated pattern.
Response #2: Humbly Check for a “Speck or Log” of Mocking in My Own Heart
Just before Jesus exposes how the mocker turns and tears you to pieces (Matthew 7:6), He exhorts us first to take the log out of our own eye so we can see clearly the heart of our brother or sister. Hopefully, we are not guilty of the pattern of mockery so that we have become a habituated mocker.
However, perhaps we have used sarcasm to hurt someone or we have used our “wit” to willingly win an argument rather than to win a brother or sister. Let’s confess our own sin of verbally hurtful behavior before we address the sin of a verbally abusive mocker.
Response #3: Love the Mocker—with Wise Holy Love
Biblically, we owe everyone love. “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law” (Romans 13:8).
Of course, the question is, “What does love look like in relationship to a hostile mocker?” Loving a mocker requires holy love. If ever there is a time for nouthetic counseling—confrontation out of concern for change—it is with the mocker.
However, as we saw in 4 Chamber of the Mocker’s Heart, the mocker is incorrigible and vindictive. So holy and loving rebuke of a mocker requires great wisdom.
The Bible tells what this looks like…
Response #4: Compassionately, Carefully, Firmly, Wisely, Privately Expose the Mocker’s Mockery
If we sense a pattern of mockery, then we carefully share what we have seen for the good of our brother or sister. However, recall the Bible’s warnings about how mockers respond to wise and loving rebuke.
“Mockers resent correction, so they avoid the wise” (Proverbs 15:12).
“A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes” (Proverbs 13:1).
“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse. Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you” (Proverbs 9:7-8).
We might summarize this as “correct and expect.” Yes, courageously and compassionately speak into a mocker’s life—once, but then, sadly, expect to incur their abuse and hatred. The mocker’s abusive response to the person exposing their mocking is further confirming evidence of their heart of mockery.
Once their mockery is fully exposed after a rebuke, “do not rebuke” them further. Steer clear.
And then what?
Response #5: Leave the Mocker in God’s Good and Strong Hands
Leave the mocker to God. “Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 2:6).
God deals with mockers severely. Twice Proverbs tells us that God mocks the mocker.
“Repent at my rebuke! Then I will pour out my thoughts to you, I will make known to you my teachings. But since you refuse to listen when I call and no one pays attention when I stretch out my hand, since you disregard all my advice and do not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh when disaster strikes you; I will mock when calamity overtakes you” (Proverbs 1:23-26).
“The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous. He mocks proud mockers but shows favor to the humble and oppressed. The wise inherit honor, but fools get only shame. (Proverbs 3:33-35).
Response #6: Initiate Church Discipline with the Mocker
If your relationship with a mocker is in your local church setting, then move to corporate church discipline after privately addressing the issue. Words are not enough for the insolent mocker. According to Proverbs, mockers require firm action in the form of direct consequences.
“Penalties are prepared for mockers, and beatings for the backs of fools” (Proverbs 19:29).
Given their pattern of arrogance and pride, it is unlikely that the mocker will be responsive to discipline.
“Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright” (Proverbs 14:9).
So why even try? The mocker must be exposed for the protection of the community. The end result of unrepentant mockery is expulsion from the community.
“Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended” (Proverbs 22:10).
“Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger” (Proverbs 29:8).
The end result of refusal to respond to church discipline is expulsion from the church.
“If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector” (Matthew 18:17).
Response #7: Publicly Expose the Mocker for the Benefit of the Community
The Bible teaches the public expose of the mocker for the benefit of others.
“When a mocker is punished, the simple gain wisdom; by paying attention to the wise they get knowledge. (Proverbs 21:11).
“Discipline a mocker, and the simple will learn prudence; rebuke the discerning, and they will gain knowledge” (Proverbs 19:25).
There’s one primary reason to publicly rebuke a mocker—for the benefit of the non-mocker. The soft-hearted person observes the rebuke of the mocker and humbly learns wisdom.
Response #8: Don’t Debate; Isolate
In personal relationships or in public conversations, don’t debate a mocker. You are not dealing with a reasonable person. You are not dealing with a safe person. You are dealing with an unsafe, unreasonable person.
In a personal relationship, avoid them. This will likely be easy, because they will be avoiding you. “Mockers resent correction, so they avoid the wise” (Proverbs 15:12).
In public discussions, such as on social media, ignore them. Don’t respond to them. Mute them. Block them.
They have no desire to learn. You are wasting your breath to try to engage them in a rational conversation. The only voice they have any interest in listening to is their own.
“An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels. Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions” (Proverbs 18:1-2).
“How long will you who are simple love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? (Proverbs 1:22).
Response #9: Prudently Protect Yourself and Others
Self-protection in the face of predictable danger is biblical. “The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty” (Proverbs 22:3).
Only the naïve continually place themselves in the path of the dangerous, hostile, abusive mocker. It is wise and biblical to avoid the mocker in personal relationships and to mute or block the mocker in public (social media) conversations. You are endangering yourself when you continue to engage a habituated, vindictive mocker.
“If a wise person goes to court with a fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace. The bloodthirsty hate a person of integrity and seek to kill the upright. Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end” (Proverbs 29:9-11).
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